Since October is ADHD Awareness Month, I thought I’d bring it to your attention (pardon the pun) and talk about adults with ADHD.
Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD, seems to be in the news more and more these days. We hear that NHS waiting lists for a diagnosis can be several years long. More adults (especially women) are diagnosed with ADHD because we are more aware of what it really is.
Some people are more likely to have ADHD due to genetic reasons. As you grow up, your life experiences and environment may cause it to develop and become apparent. However, with time many children and adults with ADHD learn to adapt their behaviours to what society expects. We call this masking and it can be utterly exhausting.
While there’s no definitive gene responsible for ADHD, it does tend to run in families. And each person with ADHD experiences it slightly differently, so what I explore below doesn’t cover everything. Let’s take a quick look at what it might be like to be an adult with ADHD.
Symptoms of Adults with ADHD
I think it’s important to say that the name – Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder – can be misleading. As a woman diagnosed in her midlife, I can safely say that adults with ADHD don’t necessarily have a deficit, or shortage, of attention; more likely the issue is focusing that attention on the right thing, at the right time and for the right length of time!
While we sometimes have a hard time focusing on things when we need to, some of us can also hyper-focus when we’re really interested in something, like writing this blog post for example. Instead of doing other things that I needed to do, I literally spent hours writing, editing and perfecting it, so that it was “just right” (if that’s even possible). Even if it meant I forgot to have lunch! If this also sounds like perfectionism, you’re right, because that is also closely associated with ADHD. Unfortunately, even though we know we’re doing it, we just can’t stop because it’s like an itch that has to be scratched.
We used to think that ADHD mainly affected boys who just couldn’t sit still or even stay seated, stop fidgeting or calling out in the classroom. While this description was accurate in many cases, some girls also had ADHD; they just often didn’t behave in the same way as the boys and slipped through the net. They grew into women who struggled with life, sometimes in different ways from boys and men. This means that many adults are now looking for answers, validation, and sometimes, medication.
So it’s not about bad behaviour, it’s a developmental impairment of the brain’s executive function capabilities. But what does that even mean? It means that our brains developed differently from most other people’s brains. We call children and adults with ADHD neurodivergent, and the majority of people (without ADHD), neurotypical. It just means that some of the systems that make our brains work developed differently. Therefore, we have difficulty regulating attention, managing activity levels and emotions, and/or impulsivity.
Subtypes
There are actually three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive and combined. This means you can have ADHD with hyperactivity (mostly boys and men), without hyperactivity (mostly girls and women), or you could have a mix of both. Each person will have their own set of ADHD traits, so we’re all unique in our own special ways!
Hyperactive ADHD
The hyperactivity that some adults with ADHD experience may include restlessness and a feeling of having to move around a lot. They might fidget, get bored quickly, and engage in risk-taking behaviours. Or they may have racing thoughts a lot of the time or be noisy and talkative. They have so much to say and so many thoughts in their head, they just need to get it all out!
In addition, they may be impulsive and interrupt in the middle of a conversation because they just can’t wait their turn. They may not be able to help themselves from buying something random while out shopping, or making expensive purchases even if they can’t afford them.
Inattentive ADHD
However, inattentive ADHD looks quite different. It affects mainly, but not always, girls and women who may seem to be lost in thought much of the time. They could be thinking of all manner of interesting things. Or just all the things they haven’t managed to get done on their to-do list. If they’ve even made one. Sometimes though, they can become hyper-focused on one specific thing to the exclusion of everything else (see above), even if they have deadlines to meet or places to be, because they lose track of time and are, therefore, often late. We say they have time-blindness.
Adults with ADHD often find it difficult to follow instructions or pay attention to details. Or we may find it hard to concentrate on tasks because we are easily distracted. We often have brain fog. We are often disorganised and lose or forget things. And very often, we have trouble getting started on tasks or procrastinate, which are not the same thing. We may walk into a room for something, but forget why or we may lose our train of thought mid-sentence. Clearly, these traits are not bad behaviour either, they are executive function impairments that cause great distress to those who experience them, including feelings of shame, self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
These are the people who, as children, received criticism and judgement, many, many more times than other children. This was often from their parents, which led to low self-esteem and feelings of shame and inadequacy. Examples are, “Why can’t you just…?”, “Why did/don’t you…?”, “Why do you always/never…?” and so on. Or from teachers: “Sit down and be quiet!”, “Pay attention!” or “Get on with your work!”
Combined ADHD
Combined ADHD is a mix of both types, with different symptoms in differing degrees.
Living with ADHD
As previously mentioned, many adults with ADHD experience low self-esteem, and they can feel misunderstood and fatigued. In addition, they may experience sensory and sensitivity overload. Therefore, some people with ADHD find noisy or crowded places just too much to bear.
Living with ADHD can be stressful for the individual concerned and their families too. Some people find all of these experiences and feelings lead to anxiety and depression, or are made worse by it. Therefore, many adults with ADHD are mistakenly diagnosed with anxiety. And this may be one reason why we are now seeing lots of late ADHD diagnoses.
RSD
Lastly, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, or RSD, is very common in adults with ADHD. This is to do with how the brain processes emotion and regulates responses, which is a whole other topic! Briefly though, while not an official diagnosis, it’s when people have an extreme emotional response to what they think is criticism or rejection. People can even respond in this way when they’re paid a compliment. It can be extremely painful, creating unbearable feelings of sadness, anger, shame, worthlessness and more. Sadly, this can result in physical symptoms too, such as poor sleep and not being able to eat.
The Positives for Adults with ADHD
It’s not all bad though. Adults with ADHD can also be great problem solvers, creative and original thinkers. They can also have great intuition and empathy. There are many famous adults with ADHD, for example Michael Phelps, Jamie Oliver, Simone Biles, Tom Hanks, Lucy Bronze, Richard Branson, Tom Holland, Cat Burns – the list goes on!
It’s also very likely that Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci and Thomas Edison had ADHD. They displayed traits such as disorganisation, forgetfulness, procrastination and scattered interests, as well as being highly intelligent, energetic and creative.
Well, that was a lot, but if you found any of this useful and you’d like help managing your ADHD, click here to get in touch and book a free consultation to see how Solution Focused Hypnotherapy and I can help you.
Disclaimer: Please note that I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone with ADHD and having one or more of the above-mentioned symptoms does not automatically mean you have ADHD! If you suspect you may have it, please do see your GP. The above information is based on my own observations and copious amounts of research. This website has lots of interesting, and I hope, useful, information for your perusal.